Letting go
by im-your-genie
Summary: He ditched her on their supposed date. Days became weeks and weeks became months. Still no sign of him. He lied. But they still love each other. Should they give their love another try? TwoShot
1. Goodbye

**DISCLAIMER:** I do not own Gakuen Alice or the characters.

J: So, this used to be a oneshot but then, I decided that I'll make this a two-shot story since I find it troublesome to post another story as a sequel of this. I revised the entire story since someone told me that the previous one was **_crappy._** Yeah, thanks for that. Sorry for being gone for a long time. I was busy with some things that I didn't have time to write anymore. At the beginning of the story, Mikan was 19, Natsume, Ruka and Hotaru were 20 while Tsubasa and Misaki are 22.

**Letting Go**

_im-your-genie_

"You were everything  
That's bad for me  
Make no apologies  
I'm crushed...  
Black and blue  
But you know  
I'd do it all again for you"

_All Again for You- We the Kings_

* * *

"Does he even love me at all?" Mikan asked herself a question that's hard for her to answer. She knew that she wants him to love her as much as she loves him and she could always try to convince herself that he does in order not to feel pain. But no, she had been asking herself this kind of question from herself since the day both of them started dating. She had her doubts on him up until now. "I guess I really am that dumb not to notice that from the start, he never did. He only loves me when he's drunk or when I'm physically wounded." She concluded as tears came running down her angelic face.

She loved him too much and left almost nothing to herself. Three years of being together was quite a torture to Mikan since all those years, she never felt his love or was he just being too secretive of what he feels? She even swore to herself that she would leave him if she can. But then again, she loves him too much to just leave him. As she cried herself to sleep, memories of what used to be flashed on her mind. They were as vivid as ever. That night, she dreamt of something from her past.

_She was walking alone in the mall when she received a text message from Natsume. A smile crossed upon her face as she opened the message. Excitement overwhelmed her since it has been days since they last talked to each other. _

"_Mikan, Natsume's drunk and had started a fight with a bunch of older dudes here. Come here quick. It's the usual place. – Ruka."_

_That was what Ruka said as she sighed upon disappointment._

'_Maybe I was disappointed because it wasn't Natsume who texted me. But then, maybe it's because he's getting himself into a physical fight again.' She thought to herself as she rushed to the place where Natsume's at._

_As she arrived, she already saw Natsume on top of one guy and the others were on the ground. They immediately stood up and pulled Natsume away from their companion and started punching him but Natsume dodged them. Mikan ran to him and tried to pull him away from the fight. But Natsume being stubborn pushed her away and continued punching one dude._

_He had tackled one of them on the floor and punched him on the face when one of them grabbed a chair and aimed to hit Natsume's back with it. _

'_No! Please… Don't do it.' Mikan cried in her head. Ruka on the other hand, being weak in fist fights can do nothing to help his buddy. Things happened too fast. Mikan was just standing among the crowd and the next thing they knew, she became Natsume's human shield. _

_Natsume's eyes widened as he stopped punching the dude. He went to hug Mikan's fragile body as his opponents ran away with fear. _

_The chair didn't break but she can feel great pain in her arms. There was blood flowing out of her open wound. Her body weakened as her vision started to get blurry. Natsume kept calling her name as she slowly lost her consciousness._

"_Don't leave me." That was what she last heard from him._

_Hours have passed and she still hasn't gained her consciousness. She was weak, what can they do? She needs a lot of rest. Her wound was already properly treated and Natsume's waiting for her to wake up. _

_He looked at her as a teardrop fell from his eye. He was guilty of what happened, that's for sure. He even swore to himself that he'd kill those guys if ever he sees them again. _

"_Don't leave me, okay?" _

_He said as she shifted a little and slowly opened her eyes. She smiled weakly as she saw Natsume by her side. But Natsume being himself went back to his old expressionless self where no one can determine what's on his mind._

"_How are you?" She asked him. _

"_You're the one lying on the hospital bed and you're asking about my condition?" He asked her. He wasn't surprise by her question though. She knows that she's really selfless and that's what people love about her._

"_I'm sorry." She sadly whispered._

"_Why did you do that? I never asked for your help."_

"_I'm sorry." She repeated as tears fell down from her eyes._

"_Shh. It's okay." He uttered as he wiped her tears away. He kissed her so genuinely that she felt like she's the happiest woman on earth. She had never felt so much love in such a quick kiss. It wasn't like any of the other kisses he gave her which were full of lust._

_She spent another two days in the hospital before she was released. He became very caring to her. He stopped drinking and spent most of his time with her._

_A month and a half has passed and her wound was completely healed. With that, Natsume came back to his previous self in an instant. Every night was hard for Mikan since Natsume's always drunk and she's the only one who could take care of him since he's living alone. "I love you." Those were his words whenever he sees Mikan taking care of him while he's drunk. She wakes up early since she wants him to have a good breakfast. But by the time he wakes up, he's back to his usual cold self. She often thought the hurtful words he threw at her were just the results of her hang over. Oh how wrong she was…_

She suddenly woke up because of the dream she had. Again, her eyes released salty liquid called tears. She cried until she can cry no more. Damn she was tired of it. Nonetheless, it was for the guy she loves most. She went to the bathroom and took a quick bath. She dressed herself nicely for her so-called date with her boyfriend. Her eyes were still puffy and red due to crying. A single look at her and someone would've already guessed what she has been up to the entire night.

She took a good walk to the part since it was just 1 pm and they were supposed to see each other at 1:30. An hour has passed but no trace of Natsume has been seen.

"He's probably on his way here." – was Mikan's conclusion as she stared at her phone waiting for a call or a text message from her boyfriend.

An hour has passed… two hours… three hours, but still no sign of Natsume.

"Oh, it's already night time. Where is he? Was he sick?" She asked herself as she decided to go to Natsume's house. She knocked and knocked but no one answered. Since she has spare keys in Natsume's house, she used it and entered. But then, nobody was home. There was no sign of her beloved boyfriend. She was starting to get worried but she convinced herself that he just probably went to someplace with his friends.

She texted him but there was no reply.

Days have passed and she still hasn't heard anything from him.

Days were turned into weeks and weeks were turned into months.

There was never a single day that she didn't texted, emailed or tried to call him. But still, she gets no response from him or whatsoever. Her text messages and emails were probably deleted already without being read by him. Her calls were unanswered too. She literally sends him one hundred text messages a day. She thought it was a dumb thing to do, but she's desperate. Natsume dying had also come across her mind but she refused to believe that he would die without her knowing about it. Of course, it would be in the news or his friends especially Ruka would inform her about it, right?

Every beep of her cell phone and every ring of her phone, she hopes it was him.

On her birthday, which is the first of January, she slept soundly in her room dreaming about whatever when her cell phone beeped. She had a new message. Still feeling sleepy, she looked at the sender of the message.

It was _him._

She almost jumped for joy having read his name on her phone and she was excited as ever upon opening the message.

But her smile turned upside down upon reading it.

_Happy Birthday polka, guess what? I got a new girlfriend._

_~ Natsume._

"I didn't remember us breaking up. Have we broken up without me knowing about it?" she asked herself as she remembered the time when he ditched her. Yeah, they're probably over since that day, she concluded. Pain was inevitable when the person you love finds another and you didn't have a proper closure. She can't control her tears anymore so she let them all out as she replied to his message trying to sound unaffected. You can easily mask your true feelings anyway, it's just a text message; he can't even see what her expression was.

_Thank you Natsume and congratulations. Good luck to the two of you._

_~ Mikan._

Mikan waited for his reply but he didn't respond to her text message anymore. She asked herself what she had done wrong to receive that kind of fate. But she hasn't done anything wrong, has she? No… she was trying to make things work for the two of them but Natsume, well… being his real self did almost nothing.

"How stupid of me to cry over a guy who left me 5 months ago." She uttered as she laughed at herself. Yeah, she probably is stupid. But she's someone who can love truly.

_AFTER THREE YEARS…_

It's been three years since that day when Natsume told her that he has already found another… the day when he gave her up. The wound's still fresh in him but hey, he's not the only one in pain. Mikan still is. She hasn't moved on yet.

"_She's now free from me, huh? I bet she's already happy with someone that she loves. Maybe she's even going out with Andou. He likes her, I think." _Natsume thought as he strode along the street. There was never a day that he didn't think of her… the girl who used to belong to him. As he scanned the busy street of Tokyo, he saw someone very familiar to him; someone who has never failed to make his heart skip a beat. It was the love he had been longing for far too long, it was Mikan with the shadow freak, err Tsubasa.

"_So… they're together now? Tsk, how incompatible. But I know he'll be a better boyfriend that I had never beeen."_ He thought.

The two were walking side by side and Mikan being the talkative one, talked non-stop. While she was busy telling Tsubasa what happened to her for the past three years, she stopped on her tracks. Flabbergasted as she was, she found herself staring to a pair of crimson orbs. What shocked her most was seeing him run away.

"_What the heck?"_ – thought Mikan and Tsubasa.

As Natsume entered his house, he sat down on the floor and thought about what happened earlier.

"_I suppose I looked like a coward for running away just like that. But I can't stand it… the Natsume can't seem to face the love he has given up on." _He thought as his vision started to get blurry. Tears fell from his eyes. Again, he cried for _his first and last love._

Meanwhile…

Tears also fell from Mikan's eyes.

"Mikan… he's not worth it. Just let it be." Tsubasa said as he hugged her.

"Thank you sempai. I hope you and Misaki-sempai will have a healthy baby. I think I should get going now. Thanks again for the time, good bye." She said as she waved a good bye to her sempai.

That night, she cried herself to sleep as she reminisced her past up until now.

She had a wonderful dream. She dreamt that Natsume was there with her. They were happy together and were already married with three kids.

Sadly, it was just in her wildest dreams that she can see that kind of future. "Natsume, I love you." Those were the words that escaped her lips before her dream has turned into a nightmare she never expected. Well it was dream anyway, expect the unexpected.

* * *

J: Still crappy? Oh well… Sorry if I have mistakes, it's already 4 am when I typed this so my mind can't think clearly. The second chapter will be posted in two days. Enjoy! Thanks for the reviews, btw.


	2. Back to me

**DISCLAIMER:** I do not own Gakuen Alice or the characters.

J: This is the second and the last chapter. I hope you'll enjoy it. This is dedicated to SHAIRA MY LOVES! I miss you! :)

**Letting Go**

_im-your-genie_

"Soon when I get you I won't let you go  
Oooh if I let you  
You can take away all that I thought was wrong  
And if you hear me there's not much to say  
There's gotta be a better way"

_Back to me- The All- American Rejects_

**

* * *

**Natsume called his best friend Ruka and invited him to come over. Since it is rare for him to call Ruka to come over, Ruka went to his place as fast as he could. Before he could even knock on the door, Natsume opened it already.

"Hey Ruka… what's up?" he casually asked his best friend as Ruka entered his house.

"Don't ask me what's up. That's what I'm going to ask you." He uttered as he noticed his best friend's eyes and deemed that it was because of crying. "Were you crying?" he asked as he sat down along with Natsume.

"Yeah, I guess so." – was Natsume's reply which astounded his best friend. "Because of Mikan again, I suppose? What happened?"

"Ruka, I didn't call you here to talk about my problems, I just want a companion… that's all." He replied with an expressionless face.

"C'mon Natsume, I know you better than that. Now, spill it." He said as he switched the TV on.

"I saw her with Andou. Seems like they're already together… good for her." He said as he lazily stood up from the couch and went to the kitchen for some drinks.

"Being too distant really made you no good, Natsume. Tsubasa is already married to Misaki since last year and they are expecting a baby soon. Quit jumping into conclusions Natsume. So was that the reason why you cried?" he asked as Natsume tossed him a can of beer.

"No, not really… I really don't know why I cried. I think I might be weak already. But hey, what would you do if Imai and you broke up and you see her with someone else?"

"Of course I'd feel pain. I love her. So that really is the reason. But Natsume, you have been torturing yourself for far too long. Don't you think it's about time you let go of the past and start a new life? Maybe ask for her forgiveness?"

"I don't know, Ruka. I honestly don't know." He replied as he drank beer from his can.

"Let me help you, Natsume. I mean, let me and Hotaru help you."

"What? You and your freaky girlfriend will help me? Ruka, I can accept your help but her? No way would I accept her help. Besides, she asks way too many things in exchange for the help she'll give."

"Trust me, Natsume. She'd be more than willing to help. Mikan's her best friend you know. Of course, she would love to see her best friend happy again." Ruka said rather convincingly.

"She was unhappy?"- was his only response.

"Dude, I should be going now. I promised Hotaru that I'd bring her some crab roes for dinner. Yes, she **is **unhappy… So we'll help you okay? See you… and I'll just call you about the plan, okay?" Ruka said as he left his best friend's house.

"What the hell… I just hope I'm not too late." Natsume whispered to himself as he drank the remaining beer on his can.

Meanwhile…

Mikan suddenly woke up because of her nightmare. It was 9:30 pm when she glanced at the clock.

"Oh yeah, I haven't eaten dinner yet." She said to herself as she went to her kitchen and opened the refrigerator only to find nothing.

"Maybe eating outside is a good idea." She walked up to the bathroom, washed her face and fixed her hair into a messy bun.

She left her house and took a good walk on the way to her favorite noodle house. That noodle house had been her favorite since Natsume brought her there. It wasn't very far but most people in Mikan's area ride vehicles to get to that noodle house. Apparently, it was kind of famous.

As she continued walking, she heard a honk of a car from behind her. She turned around and found Ruka's car on the road. She stopped on her tracks as the car halted at the side of the road. The car's window went open and Ruka invited her for a ride which she gladly accepted.

"So, where are you heading to?" Ruka asked as the car started moving again.

"I'm going to eat dinner… you know the place." Mikan replied while looking outside the car window.

"Oh… the noodle house he introduced to you. It's still your favorite, huh? Why don't you join Hotaru and me for late dinner tonight? I'm off to her place after buying crab roe." He offered.

"Hmm… well I guess I could use some company. I'm a little lonely today. Thanks Ruka."

"May I know why?" He politely asked her. Even though they were good friends, he doesn't like meddling with her life so when he's curious about something, he asks her first if he's allowed to ask that kind of question. He's really a gentleman for that matter.

"I saw him earlier today but he…" she hasn't even finished the sentence when tears started falling from her eyes.

"Are you sure you really want to tell me? I really don't like seeing women cry." Ruka tried to comfort her as he parked the car on the side of the road. They have just reached Hotaru's favorite noodle house. It wasn't the same noodle house that Mikan likes but it was quite near to her house.

"I'm okay. I'm just too emotional. I saw him earlier today and our eyes met but well… he just ran away." She said in between sobs.

Ruka just tapped her shoulder as she cried. He wasn't really good in handling these things.

"It's okay, Mikan… maybe he's just afraid or something? I don't know. But I bet he has a good reason for it."

"I don't know, Ruka. All I know is, after all these years, my love for him has never disappeared and this love will go on up until God-knows-when." She almost whispered as she tried to stop herself from crying.

"It'll be okay… I know it will be. Uh, Mikan? You wouldn't mind waiting here for a few minutes, right? I'll just buy crab roe for Hotaru. What would you like to eat? I'll just buy it for you… it's my treat." He asked her as he flashed her a small smile.

"Thank you, Ruka. Uhm, I would like Ramen. That's all." With that, Ruka went out of the car and entered a small noodle house. It's might not be Mikan's favorite noodle house, but she had tasted their food before since Hotaru loves eating there because of their delicious crab roes.

"Hotaru, this is Ruka… I got a huge favor to ask you…"

"I know it's you, dummy. What is it?"

"I'm back, Mikan. Please hold these while I drive. Thanks." Ruka said as he started the engine.

"What's up with the cheerful tone?" She looked at him with curious eyes.

"Nothing special…" – was his only reply as he grinned.

"Yeah, whatever…?"

The whole ride on the way to Hotaru's place was quiet. Nobody dared to utter a single word. Each was busy with his/her own thoughts. It only took them 10 minutes to arrive at Hotaru's place.

As they entered the house, they were welcomed by a delicious smell coming from the kitchen.

"Hotaru cooks?" Mikan asked to herself loudly as she and Ruka entered the kitchen.

"And you call yourself my best friend? What a shame…" Hotaru uttered plainly as she set the table.

"Wait, Hotaru… There are four plates and there are only three of us here. Who's the extra plate's for?"

_*Ding dong…*_

"Well that was fast." Hotaru said as she went to the door and opened it. Ruka and Mikan stayed in the kitchen/dining area and comfortably seated themselves.

"Hey." - Uttered a masculine voice which was very familiar to Mikan. She didn't look behind her thinking that she was just hallucinating by hearing Natsume's voice.

Mikan slapped her face three times hoping that she would wake up from her hallucination. But no, she wasn't hallucinating.

She hoped to find only Hotaru when she looked behind her but what she saw were Hotaru and a tall handsome man with raven hair and crimson orbs.

"Wait… tall, handsome, raven hair, a pair of crimson orbs…" Mikan whispered to herself but still audible to her three companions.

"Let's seat, then." Hotaru offered ignoring her best friend's thoughts. She sat beside Mikan in front of Ruka while Natsume sat beside Ruka in front of Mikan.

"Still slow as ever huh?" Natsume said while looking intently at Mikan.

"Hotaru… That's Natsume, right?" Mikan whispered to her best friend ignoring Natsume's statement.

"Of course, baka." She nonchalantly replied.

"Wait… what about my Ramen? I thought that it's what I would eat…"

"Will you just eat my food? Ramen can wait." She impatiently said.

The four of them ate in silence… No one dared to utter any word even Ruka who can also sense the tension between Mikan and Natsume. Of course, Hotaru being herself won't even bother to utter any word at all.

Surprisingly, all of them finished eating at the same time which is not really normal because Mikan normally eats too much. But now, she barely even touched her food. They left their dishes on the sink and went to the living room. Mikan was the first to go there and switched on the TV.

The rest followed her in silence… Natsume sat beside her and the tension has started to build up again.

"So… do you want to watch a movie? We have tons of DVDs here." Ruka asked trying to ease the tension between their two companions.

"No… I think I need to go home now. I still have something to do… Goodbye Hotaru, Ruka… Natsume." She said as she stood up from the couch. Hotaru didn't stop her from leaving since her best friend's aura is different and she wants to just let her be.

She went to the door and shut it quite loudly as she ran away from Hotaru's house. Her eyes were clouded with tears that she has been restraining since she heard his voice. How the hell did she do that? Nobody knows… She was running to wherever her feet may bring her and she stopped when she felt tired of running. She sat to the ground looking like a girl who's crying because she was lost.

Meanwhile…

"So, are you just going to sit here and do nothing?" Hotaru asked Natsume angrily. With those words, Natsume too, ran to the first place he thought where Mikan might be.

_"Damn it… This is your last chance, Natsume." _He said as he ran off to the bay. Obviously, luck wasn't on their side since it started raining heavily.

There, he saw Mikan sitting on the ground not caring whether it's cold.

"Mikan…" Natsume softly said as he neared her also not caring if he's already soaked. He held Mikan's hand and helped her stood up. She didn't protest or anything but she was kind of reluctant in facing him.

"Why are you here?" She coldly asked.

"I don't know either…" He replied as tears also fell from his eyes seeing the one he loves looking like that. Of course, Mikan being dumb didn't notice it since it's raining heavily.

"Go home… I'll do the same. Farewell, _Natsume_." She said as she started walking away from him only to be stopped by a pair of strong arms around her frail figure that caused her to sob more.

"Mikan… I'm sorry for what I did to you. I really am…" He said with guild evident in his voice as he let go of Mikan. He made her face him in such a way that he can look in her eyes. She was speechless. She only wants to hear his side so she remained silent.

"The past three years was hell for me. I lied to you, Mikan. I never had any other girlfriends after you. That time when I didn't come to our meeting place was because I was a coward. I thought that if I didn't show up for a long time, you would just forget about me and find another who can make you happy. I was angry at myself for… hurting you when we were still together. I didn't know why I did those awful things to you. Maybe I was afraid to let you see my soft side… Afraid that if you see it, you'd regret dating me since the Natsume you knew wasn't like that. But these three years made me realize that… I can never be able to forget you. I want you back but I don't know if you still love me… Even if you don't accept me back, I want to ask for your forgiveness… Mikan, I love you… I really do." He said with full of emotions as Mikan cried.

She hugged him tight as she laughed softly. "Natsume… You know, I wasn't angry at you. I can never be. But I admit it, I doubted you. Even so, I still love you, Natsume. I want you back too. But is it the best for the both of us?" she asked as she let go of him and looked at his beautiful crimson orbs.

"I don't know either… But I would want to court you, _again._ This time, I'd let you see every aspect of my personality. No secrets or whatsoever. Even if it takes a lifetime, I will court you." He said confidently as he held her hand tightly.

"Sure… I would love that. It wouldn't hurt to at least give it another try, right?" Mikan said while looking at his eyes with a smile plastered on her face.

They stared at each other's eyes with a smile on their face as they both knew that this time; they won't let go of each other no matter what obstacle they might face.

Well, that's after Mikan gives Natsume her precious 'yes' after letting him court her.

_If you truly love one another, no matter how many years had passed, you can never be able to forget one another. And your heart will always find its way back to who it truly beats for.  
_

_

* * *

_J: So... That's the ending folks. Thanks for reading this story._  
_


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